Kathy H (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
unseentides) wrote2014-03-17 07:45 pm
unseentides) wrote2014-03-17 07:45 pm
[DARROW] March 17th
I bought wine.
Not for me, but for Sookie, and in hindsight maybe it was a little strange, but at the time it seemed like the right thing to do. I asked the same worker at the store which one was best and I'm fairly sure he tried to up sell me again, but I can't say I minded. I was genuinely excited to be going to Sookie's movie night. She was just one of those people you wanted more of in your life.
I wondered what sort of movies she liked. I'd watched a few at Hailsham, and then at the Cottages, but none had really struck my fancy the way they did the others. If anything, the way that Ruth mindlessly mimicked them afterwards drove me a bit insane. She was so desperate to be worldly, she'd steal bits and pieces from just about anywhere.
I preferred to read. To enter worlds, instead of trying to bring them into my own. It was harder to focus on time when I was reading and, after I'd left them both for my Carer duties, harder to dwell on who I'd left behind. Sometimes a certain line would strike me, though, an image that would bring back a memory of my past, and my grief would catch me afresh again. Not grief. It wasn't grief then. I knew they were still alive. But longing. A longing for Tommy, and even for Ruth, brought to life by the words and sentences an author I'd never met had so carefully formed.
But I don't know why I'm talking about books again. It was a movie night. Sookie seemed so enthusiastic about the whole thing, it was hard for me not to be. I rose my hand in a fist to knock on her door, wine in my free hand, and waited.
Not for me, but for Sookie, and in hindsight maybe it was a little strange, but at the time it seemed like the right thing to do. I asked the same worker at the store which one was best and I'm fairly sure he tried to up sell me again, but I can't say I minded. I was genuinely excited to be going to Sookie's movie night. She was just one of those people you wanted more of in your life.
I wondered what sort of movies she liked. I'd watched a few at Hailsham, and then at the Cottages, but none had really struck my fancy the way they did the others. If anything, the way that Ruth mindlessly mimicked them afterwards drove me a bit insane. She was so desperate to be worldly, she'd steal bits and pieces from just about anywhere.
I preferred to read. To enter worlds, instead of trying to bring them into my own. It was harder to focus on time when I was reading and, after I'd left them both for my Carer duties, harder to dwell on who I'd left behind. Sometimes a certain line would strike me, though, an image that would bring back a memory of my past, and my grief would catch me afresh again. Not grief. It wasn't grief then. I knew they were still alive. But longing. A longing for Tommy, and even for Ruth, brought to life by the words and sentences an author I'd never met had so carefully formed.
But I don't know why I'm talking about books again. It was a movie night. Sookie seemed so enthusiastic about the whole thing, it was hard for me not to be. I rose my hand in a fist to knock on her door, wine in my free hand, and waited.